“I love your positive energy!”
“You did an incredible job on that report.”
“No one hosts a party better than you!”
Small phrases or big exclamations, compliments are like little gifts of sunshine. Glowing with kindness and radiating positivity, compliments often brighten our days, especially during stressful or difficult times. Warm words complimenting our character offer tangible reminders of our unique impact on the world. We each bring something distinct to our relationships, and it’s a great thing when other people celebrate what makes us one-of-a-kind.
However, we are sometimes unprepared for these sudden bursts of light and can feel a tinge of awkwardness or uncertainty when we receive them. For some of us, it’s a result of being told at a young age to stay humble; for others, it’s the surprise of hearing an opinion we did not expect. From significant scenarios like a boss praising your year-long performance to small but mighty moments such as a partner recognizing an act of kindness that you checked off their to-do list, this attention can feel both incredible and overwhelming at the same time.
Knowing how to accept a compliment with grace, though, goes a long way. Doing so makes both the compliment-receiver and the compliment-giver feel uplifted, more connected, and beaming from the bright exchange. If you’ve ever downplayed praise, we are here to help offer some best practices so you can soak in these sunny moments with complete confidence!
Keep it Simple and Start With “Thank You”
Simply saying “thank you” in a calm yet confident voice is the simplest, most effective way to receive a compliment. These two words maintain a spirit of humbleness while showing evident gratitude. They are unpretentious and get straight to the point. However, based on your comfort level or relationship with the compliment-giver, you may want to elaborate on your ‘thank you.’ For example, you can share how the compliment made you feel, such as, “Thank you! You just made my day.” It’s a wonderful way to illustrate the impact of the compliment. Plus, the exchange can turn into a meaningful connection!
Reject the Deflect!
Because we do not want to appear egotistical, we may often default to deflecting a compliment. If so, we should challenge ourselves to accept it confidently, offering thanks for it, and embracing it, even if we are a little rusty at first. Eliminating this habit may not be something you accomplish overnight, so be patient throughout the process and know that we all deserve praise! For example, instead of saying, “It was nothing and anyone could have done it…” to a friend complimenting you on a painting you just created, you can say, “Thank you so much! It took a lot of time and energy. I appreciate your compliment!”
Another way of looking at it is to think of a loved one receiving a compliment. Would you want them to reject it, or would you want them to enjoy this shining moment? Just as you care deeply about their happiness, consider the same for yourself! Also, consider how deflecting makes the compliment-giver feel. It may invalidate their words, and that is never the intention behind the deflection!
Consider Body Language
Portraying confidence is integral to gracefully receiving a compliment, especially with your body language. If you cross your arms, look away, or scroll on your phone while a person compliments you, it appears that you aren’t interested in what they are saying. People can feel vulnerable when sharing compliments, so it’s meaningful to offer them the same respect and attention they are offering you. Maintain direct eye contact, especially when they open their hearts and sprinkle joy into your life.
Avoid Forced Ping-Pong Praise
Another common instinctual reaction to a compliment is to send one back immediately to the compliment-giver. If you have a remark you’ve already been looking to share with this person, please share it now! It’s just important to ensure you are not delivering a forced compliment as if the exchange is a transaction. Those exchanges often feel unnatural and can lessen the impact of future compliments. Some of us may even prefer holding onto those for an entirely separate conversation so others can be at the center of the compliment and have their own moment in the sun! No matter how or when you reply, just be sure it’s coming straight from the heart.
Pay It Forward
While everyone’s reaction to compliments is unique, one thing is fairly common: It feels nice to be seen. Although some of us freeze after we receive a compliment, we can later reflect and appreciate the good intention of the compliment-giver. Once we process those more complicated feelings and move into the warm, fuzzy appreciation phase, we are often inspired to share these good vibes with others. Cultivating a regular habit of complimenting others and practicing gratitude can increase your comfort receiving them. Use the uplifting impact of your compliment to set a pay-to-forward trend of positivity in motion. In the end, this fosters a larger culture of appreciation and optimism that benefits everyone.
Accepting compliments with confidence is a skill that grows over time and with practice. By embracing kind compliments, we increase feelings of self-worth and deepen our relationships with friends, family, community members, and even strangers! The next time someone goes out of their way to compliment you, take a big breath in, smile, and say a hearty, self-assured, and proud ‘thank you!’ Remember: You are worth it!
Are you interested in other Compliment Corner content? Check out the rest of our ongoing series here!